


Guilt

by orphan_account



Series: Teen Titans Headcanon oneshots [5]
Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Angst, Guilty thoughts, Teen Titans Headcanon, Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 23:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6133135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Headcanon 1075: Raven did know how to free Terra when she was turned to stone. She just didn't want her around anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilt

Guilt was not a feeling Raven was particularly acquainted with.

Not because she had an extraordinary knack for keeping her feelings bottled up. (Which she did, but for another reason entirely)

Not because she never did things to feel guilty about. Being on the Teen Titans may make her a hero in the eyes of some, but Raven's mind would never stop being infested with dark musings.

Like how easy it would be to simply kill some of these wanna-be criminals, instead of going through the tedium of capturing them, locking them up, and them escaping over and over again.

Or how much nicer it would be to have a place completely of her own, to not be confronted with everyone's petty problems day in and out. Put them out of their misery.

No, the reason Raven was not familiar with guilt, was simply because the empath was barely ever faced with the consequences of bad choices.

This time, it was different.

This time, she got a horrible close up of the result of her ego-centrical secret, and it was eating her up inside.

A full 3 months had passed since their final showdown with Terra, at that moment working as Slades personal protégé. It had been an unpleasant period in the Teen Titans career, and one none of them wanted to dwell on.

But it could not be denied that Terra redeemed herself at the end, basically sacrificing her life to save not only the other heroes, but the entirety of Jump City.

Terra wasn't dead, though. And somehow that made everything even worse, because there could be no grief if there was no death. Instead there lingered hope.

Robin still hadn't worked out any plans about what to do with the room they had spent so much time decorating for the 6th titan, and Raven highly suspected he never would change a thing.

Starfire still made apple pie from time to time, Terra's favorite. The Tamarenean had learned to make it not long after the blonde joined. But instead of spending a few moments in quite companionship eating the pastry, it was now left untouched and uneaten until somebody threw it away because it had turned stale.

Cyborg would still play the few CD's Terra had bought while she was with them. Working idly in his workshop with the music in the background, it always took some time for the half-robot to notice he wasn't working anymore, just staring at the tool clenched in his fist.

And Beast Boy...

He seemed to be coping quite well, actually, quickly falling back into his joking routine of obliviousness and innocence.

But Raven would recognize an emotional defense mechanism when she saw one, and it was plain to someone of her powers something had died in the shapeshifter's eyes.

Like the light had been minutely dimmed, and Raven had no idea what she could do to make it right.

Well, as a matter of fact, she did actually. She could save Terra.

The half-demon couldn't even count anymore, the amount of times she had stood on the verge of announcing her secret. Just tell the others she had found a way of undoing Terra's petrified state.

But something hold her back.

Something dark and bitter and deep down that wouldn't let itself be pushed away. Something much like jealousy and envy and hate, even.

Something that did not inherit from her father's heritage, but rather a much more human cause.

A fear of being replaced. A fear of being outdone.

So as much as the guilt bubbled up on her inside, every time she saw her teammates doing these things, she would swallow it down. She would bear it.

Somehow, Raven still thought it more pleasant than having Terra back around.

Maybe if she was a better person, she would have realized what an awful thought that was.  
But she was just honest.


End file.
